2IIM is shutting down (April 1st Joke)

Hi all,

We at 2IIM have been contacted by the Anti-Trust Authorities of India and have been asked to shut down operations within the next 12 months. Our operations have been deemed as anti-competitive by the industry and the ministry. The crux of their case goes thus – With the best possible material, pedagogy and technology, we at 2IIM threaten the classroom industry and are competing on a platform that is impossible to match. Our conversation with ATAI (Anti-Trust Authority of India) went thus –

ATAI: Have you repeatedly claimed that with the online course one can learn anywhere and at anytime?

2IIM: Yes. We have also said that they can learn at their own pace.

ATAI: This is something that the classroom industry cannot match, so this is clearly against the competition. Have you also been saying that a student can have fun while preparing?

2IIM: Yes, we have built the entire course with that belief.

ATAI: Again, this is against industry norms. We work with the government. How do you think the idea of enjoying what you do makes us feel? Anyway, back to the case in hand. Do you agree that you have a compelling advantage over the classroom-based industry?

2IIM: Yes, we do. In fact, we have a compelling advantage over the online industry as well.

ATAI: Grrr. These cheeky replies do not help. Have you repeatedly stated that your offering is way better than what any other classroom can offer?

2IIM: Yes, we are proud of that claim

ATAI: Again, that cheekiness. If that is not anti-competitive, I don’t know what is.

2IIM: WTF? We are not abusing our market position. We are not using unfair practices such as bundling our offering.

ATAI: Have you not bundled the technology and the pedagogy as one product?

2IIM: Of course we have. Otherwise, we will be offering a classroom course along with an empty, useless app.

ATAI: That is broadly the industry-standard. So, why are you messing things up?

2IIM: WTF? We are not a monopoly, why are you after us?

ATAI: What is the point of addressing issues after a company has a monopoly? Now, are you willing to consider breaking up your company before it becomes a monopoly?

2IIM: No, we want to focus on that part where we become a monopoly.

ATAI: Okay, smart aleck. Can you break up the company into two parts – say, 2 and IIM?

2IIM: Sure, we would love to be an IIM

ATAI: Okay, that’s not possible. We will have to figure something else out….

After many more hours of such enlightening conversations, we were given a 12-month window and asked to shut down from 1st April 2018. So, it is with a heavy heart that I send this email to all of you. This is not the end though. We will continue to offer our services for the next 12 months.

Best wishes for CAT preparation to all of you. Have loads of fun preparing for this exam.

Cheers,

Rajesh Balasubramanian

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